Summer has been...interesting, to say the least.
The performing arts trip to Scotland and Ireland was amazing; I got to spend a week abroad with my peers and teachers doing what I love to do: singing. I made new friends, but unfortunately they are going off to college in a few weeks and I won't see them as often as I would during the school year. I brought home some souvenirs and over 1,000 pictures to commemorate my journey. I was told by many on the trip that I should sell some of the photos that I took, either online or to a greeting card company, because I had many great shots. I guess you could say that I got to do two things on the trip that I love: singing and taking photos.
Other than that, I have had a lot of downtime. I was a volunteer camp counselor for a week at a service project camp at my church for middle school kids. I was only able to go to three out of the five total days of the camp, though. One day I just didn't make it because my mom and I were fighting that morning and I missed the bus to the service project site, and the other day I was out taking my road test for my license. Overall, the camp was fun and I enjoyed my time there. My "boss" for the week gave me a copy of the new Bon Iver CD one day after I told him that I recognized a Bon Iver song he was playing over the speakers during an activity. Bon Iver makes some of the most amazing music I have ever heard. I have the CD on repeat in my mom's car.
Speaking of my Mom's car, driving is great. My mom has sent me off on errands to various grocery stores, and I often find myself driving to friends' houses or to my psychologist's office. It's so wonderful to just be able to drive around with the windows down in the late afternoon and the music turned up. Not having my parents in the car makes me feel like nothing can hurt me; not in the physical sense, but rather the mental sense. No one can be yelling at me or telling me what to do or making me think things that aren't true or any of that. When I drive somewhere, I feel a sense of relief for the first time in a long while; unfortunately it is ephemeral, because I have to return home at some point.
I was working on my senior page a few nights ago and realized just how surreal this all is. I am going to be a senior in about a month. I will finally have my chance to dress up in every article of red clothing that exists in my house and run screaming into the gym. I am going to be finishing up the last nine month term of my seven total years at RP. This time next year I will be packing up my things and getting ready to go to college. I am quickly realizing that I love RP. I have built this wall of safety for myself, and inside that wall is RP. Over the next nine months, I somehow have to push school outside of those walls as I come to terms with the fact that this chapter of my life is rapidly ceasing day by day. I don't want to admit this, but somehow I have to in order to make moving on less painful. I am realizing which friends will keep in touch with me during college and which will be "too busy" to reply to emails or texts that I send. I guess it is a good thing that I am realizing these things now; that way I won't be so surprised later on when these predictions become reality. However, I am not exactly the type of person that finds it easy to forget about the past and move on with life.
Things at home really haven't changed. There is a little less tension in the house, but I have a feeling it is only because I don't have the pressures of homework and grades. Besides, the stress of homework and grades is only being replaced with the stress of college applications. I have already made a lot of progress on CommonApp, which is good. Other than that, I guess you could say I am hanging in there. I won't lie to you; it's been a really hard summer for me. For now, I guess I am stuck with sitting around the house for a couple of weeks. Things start to get a little more fast-paced in mid-August; from then until the time school starts I am busy with an out-of-town wedding, field hockey camp, field hockey practices, and my A Capella group rehearsals. I do have a few days of down time in between some of these, but I am somewhat thankful that I will have things to do during the last month of my summer.
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