Tuesday, November 16, 2010

And I just can't keep living this way.

I was sitting in Spanish today and my Spanish teacher wants us to correct each other’s mistakes and I understand why she wants us to do it but it makes class seem like a competition to see who can correct the most mistakes. Some girls in my class almost seem like they’re trying to be show-offs and correct as many mistakes as they can. The teacher won’t give us hints or prompts or anything if we get something wrong, she just says “That is wrong” and prompts the rest of the class to correct whatever was wrong. She only gives you extra credit on class activities if you don’t make any mistakes. I feel like it’s so unfair because you can put so much effort into something and if you make one tiny mistake you get shot down and embarrassed in front of the entire class. I hate it so much. I mean don’t get me wrong, the teacher is extremely nice but I hate how she teaches. It’s unfair and hurtful and just plain mean.

To be quite honest, I think I need more help than I’m asking for right now. Last week my psychologist and I talked about having one bad day and how it’s different from having a bad day every day. Last Monday was a really shitty day and I got really depressed but the feeling hasn’t gone away. I’m unhappy with myself and my life and I’m the exact same way I was my freshman year. It kills me because I tried so hard not to be that person and I hate it. Not to mention two of my teachers have now shot me down, whether through email or in front of the entire class and it hurts. I don’t know if I can deal with it much longer. Yes I have other people to help me with the academic aspect of things, but it doesn’t help me at all if I don’t put any effort into the work I do because I have no self-confidence.

No comments:

Post a Comment